Is clutter the cause for your writing frustration?

Welcome spring! After a relatively boring winter it’s so nice to finally say hello to spring. Where as winter makes me think of holidays, cozy blankets and working with hot chocolate on my coaster—spring makes me think of color, cleaning and productivity.

For most writers the holidays get in the way and clutter builds up throughout winter as we fight to catch up to our once productive routines. This is especially true for writing moms because we have even more to manage. But is the clutter in and around your life disrupting your writing?

Everyone knows the age-old phrase of “spring cleaning” and if you are like me you HATE IT! I hate cleaning, doing laundry, and many other household tasks. Honestly, I’m about as domesticated as a wild mountain lion. The ideal day for me would be sitting on my back patio writing to the sounds of wildlife and enjoying the fresh air and thinking about the fresh dinner I would enjoy making that evening. But the truth is that sometimes it takes a little hard work to give our productivity a boost.

Just try it out. No matter what deadline you are on, take a half an hour (if you need that) and clean up your desk, office, etc. No you do not have to “spring clean” the entire house. You can be like me and do that in pieces but do clean your workspace.

You can make this enjoyable. I put on some music. You can opt for an audiobook or catch up with someone on the phone. Do what you can to make this time not painful but do your “spring clean.”

Once you are finished sit back. I had a glass of wine and observed the work. Take a few deep breaths and doesn’t everything seem manageable now? Of course it does, you can see the color of your desk! Now neatly organize what piles you have on your desk and get back to work.

You will quickly see how simply cleaning up can improve your writing and productivity. Now you can take that feeling of accomplishment and apply it to other rooms in your house. Clearing the clutter from your life will make you feel better and help you in all aspects of your life.

Have you done your spring cleaning yet? Share your spring cleaning stories and tips in a comment below.

Finding a helpful distraction- one bunny at a time

Being a writer is hard. There is so much more than just writing. You are your own boss. You are your own business. And then add the other things in your life like caring for a toddler. Everyone is busy. Everyone has their thing holding them back. I’ve always heard people talking about taking up a hobby to relax and unwind. I secretly laughed at this because come on, when would I have time to do anything! I barely have time for church and that is very sad!

But things have a way of working out for the best. I now believe that it is vital to find something completely unrelated to writing and family needs to do. My “thing” found me. My dog found a nest of baby bunnies in our yard. I left them alone knowing that they were better off with their mom. However, over the days we started to notice the bunnies getting sickly. I laid out some food for the mother and the next morning it was untouched. Their nest was also untouched from the previous days. We began to suspect that they were abandoned and seeing the construction and burning that had picked up in our neighborhood it was believable. I called the zoo, the game commissioner and humane societies. I didn’t know what to do with baby bunnies but I didn’t want them to die either. I kept getting the same answer, “this is natures way of population control.” I actually had someone tell me to go dump them and end their suffering. I was appalled.

I was still on the fence about what to do when our first spring storm hit. It was bad and since our yard is on an incline there was a small stream that formed in our yard that mixed with mud creating a yucky natural paste. I thought I could go cover the bunnies with a bowl or something to shelter them. When I went outside in the storm to check on them I found that their nest was flooding. They were screaming. One was stuck in the sticky mud and was stretching to lift it’s head above water. It was horrible. I knew then that it was up to me to do something. Without their mother’s milk they may still die but I was not letting them die a horrible death in my yard.

I rushed to save them. They didn’t fight me. Instead they rushed to me when I started offering them aid. I had to dig the bunny out of the mud that was stuck and it wasn’t moving it’s back legs. I rushed the three of them inside and called the vet for instructions.

For the last week I’ve been bottle-feeding them every 3 hours. They are all thriving even the one who couldn’t move its legs. The vet determined that it was in hypothermic shock when I rescued it. Thanks to the use of some warm blankets and my messaging its legs it made it.

I’m on a strict deadline and just signed another contract. I’m also working hard on my fiction work all while continuing my freelance contracts. I take care of my 19-month-old daughter and teach workshops on how to be a writing mom and time management for the busy writer. I really don’t have time to be a bunny momma. However, these little bunnies have helped me in so many ways.

Despite the hard work to take care of them I’m seeing that they actually help my writing. I’m horrible at never turning my mind off but when I’m bottle-feeding the bunnies I have to focus completely on them. They can’t be fooled and do best with a calm environment. I turn on classical music for them and rock them to calm them until they will eat. It is soothing for both them and me. This new project of caring for them puts everything in perspective. So I’ve gotten a few rejections. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love what I’m doing. Just the simple act of calming down the bunnies calms me down and makes me a better writer.

Now I’m not suggesting that everyone goes out and saves the nearest orphaned animal. I am suggesting that you think about a non-work related hobby, Tackle a new project where you can completely separate your mind from writing. Take a break and fill fulfilled in another way.

I’m loving my little bunnies and the quiet time that we have together. This helps my writing and stress level in so many ways. What hobby have you taken on that has helped your writing and life?

The Airplane Theory to being a great writer

How many of you actually listen to what the flight attendants say before take off? Or are you busy rummaging around in your purse and carryon looking for that gum your just purchased?

I used to hate to fly but throughout my professional career as I’ve had to do it more often by myself, I’ve grown to love it. It gives me time to myself when I can catch up with a good book or get ahead on a deadline or daily word count. I also am guilty to say that I really never listened to those safety instructions until I was by myself. You may recall when they talk about the oxygen masks and how they will fall from the ceiling if the cabin pressure drops that you are instructed that if traveling with a child, secure your mask before assisting the child.

Hopefully none of us ever have to experience such a scenario, but there is a lot that we can learn from these important instructions that so many ignore. It’s easy, especially as a parent to want to put others first. We want to take care of our baby. It’s our nature. However, if you aren’t taking care of you, what kind of care are you giving your baby? What kind of quality of work are you putting into that article or manuscript? Did you actually put laundry detergent in the dishwasher?

You get the idea. In order to create/maintain a productive writing career as a writing mom, you need to put yourself first. This includes fitness and mental health. Through routine exercise you will see that not only does it help you feel good but it also will improve the kind of mother you are and the kind of writing you are.

Most of the time, writing moms are trying to think about both aspects of their lives as separate pieces to their lives. You don’t have to. You can have it all but don’t forget to look out for you! And this method isn’t just for writing moms but all busy writers. Do you have a day job? Care for a parent? Juggling multiple contracts? Whatever your situation may be, take a lesson from The Airplane Theory.

Blog shout outs:

T.E.A.M. – Everyone Achieves More by author Kristen Lamb

You Can Have it All, but Can You Do it All? By author Jen Talty

Embrace Your Flaws by author Kate Wood

Critiquing your manuscript the toddler way

One of the first phrases my daughter picked up was “bye bye” right along with “uh oh.” Both of these common toddler phrases can be applied to your manuscript. As I say often, it is amazing what you can learn from your toddler.

Sometimes it’s easy to get attached. I love all my fictional characters so much it is hard to know when to cut. They are my fictional children! But some simple and basic toddler sayings can hold great meaning for your manuscript.

You must know when you’ve made an “uh oh” and must say “bye bye” to a scene or a character. Don’t worry you can save it for yourself. My prologue has taken on many versions all of which I love for different reasons. They may not have worked for the story but they can live in my personal collection.

Think basic and simple. It is so easy to over think things. I know because I do it all the time!

Another thing I do is read my work to my toddler. I know she doesn’t fully comprehend the non-fictions I write, articles or my fiction work but reading outloud is a great way to critique your own work. And though my daughter doesn’t care or understand it, I do pay attention to how she reacts to the flow of my sentences. Understanding the tone and flow of your sentences may help a troublesome scene that was missing its correct tone. Reading to a child can help with that.

Has your child helped you with your manuscript?

Announcements:

I had some great opportunities to guest blog for some great author’s and friends last month.

The ever-changing writing process at author Colin Falconer’s blog

Finding Inspiration from Unlikely Sources at author Kristen Lamb’s blog

Being a flexibly, trained writer at author Rachel Harris’ blog

Woof Wednesday: Doggy assistant, excuse or both? At author Amy Shojai’s blog.

Who Dares Wins Publishing offers fantastic writing craft and industry Write it Forward Workshops. Be sure and check them all out here.

What does your fiction say about you?

Writing is very personal. I write both non-fiction and fiction. Of course my non-fiction is very straightforward. I’m knowledgeable about dogs and want to help other dog owners. My book Caring for Your Special Needs Dog was inspired because of my dog, Oscar who suffers from epilepsy. I wanted to help other owners of special needs dogs.

Fiction writing is more unique but it too is personable and can share a lot of insight about its author. My young adult novel takes place around and in the ocean. Why did I choose this setting? It’s simple—I love the ocean. My husband and I are SCUBA divers so I can easily write about that setting from my personal experiences.

You might also find it easy to believe that there is a dog in my young adult novel. My YA is a fantasy tale but you can find pieces of the real me throughout it. Writing takes a lot of time, patience and heart so it only makes sense to incorporate yourself in your fictional stories. Plus, it can save you on some research time.

What does your writing say about you?

Announcements:

I will be teaching another class of my Writing Moms: How to do it all without losing your mind Write It Forward Workshop this March. It is a month long workshop focused on busy writing moms, something I know a lot about. Click here for more information.

Who Dares Wins Publishing offers fantastic writing craft and industry Write it Forward Workshops. Be sure and check them all out here.

My book, Caring for Your Special Needs Dog is out and a percentage of the profits go to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine.

Bring back that loving feeling to your writing

Tom Cruise sang it in Top Gun, "bring back that loving feeling." But for writers this can often be a problem especially after a break. I spoke last week on how to get back into the writing game but what if you've lost that "loving feeling?"

Writers love to writers love to write or they would have never embarked on this crazy profession. It really is crazy. Think about it. Most of us work in isolation or coffee shops where we dont interact with others. We hear the voices Of our characters in our heads and we are forced to be OK with rejection. Yep, writing is not a healthy career for the weak at heart. So, writers need to love what they do. You need that passion or spark as I call it. But what if it's lost. You sit done and you don't have writers blog but rather a lack of interest.

We've all be there or at least I hope you have or I will feel very depressed. Whenever, ever my "spark" is fading I always ask myself these questions:

Why did I start writing?

I’ve been writing as long as I can remember. In school early as elementary school I would write short stories and enter them in contests. In high school I had a short story when the scholastic writing competition. But I remember wanting to write because I loved to read. After falling in love with so many characters and worlds it was only natural (well to me at least) that I started creating my own. I still keep a notepad on my nightstand where I write down each new exciting world I visited in my dreams.

Why do I like writing?

I love writing because I can set my own hours. I write from home with the help of my almost 2-year-old and my high maintenance dog so my hours are still erratic with much of work getting done in crazy early and late hours but still I have flexibility. After working in public relations and communications I appreciate this.

Do I like what I've written?

OK all writers would probably answer no to this question on most days but I'm talking about work or a scene you haven't read in a while. I haven't written much in January because of a family emergency but the first thing I did when getting back into my routine was read something I haven't looked at in a while. It was good. In fact, it was great! There is something to out of sight, out of mind and when you read something with fresh eyes, you'd be amazed what you see.

What book am I currently reading?

If you aren't reading, that may be the problem to your fading spark of interest. All writers should read. I've learned so much when I took the leap to writing fiction professionally from fiction books that I wanted to read. These weren't craft books, though they are vital too, but I'm talking about reading a book you want to read rather then what you feel you should read.

With these four questions, plus the will to get your butt in chair in front of your computer, your spark should reignite. That has been my experience. What do you do to reignite your writing "spark?"

Announcements:

I will be teaching another class of my Writing Moms: How to do it all without losing your mind Write It Forward Workshop this March. It is a month long workshop focused on busy writing moms, something I know a lot about. Click here for more information.

My book, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog’ is out and a percentage of the profits go to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine.

Getting back in the game

It’s good to be back! Around Christmas my father was diagnosed with heart failure and I had to put the writer me on a shelf and be all about family. After two surgeries he seems to be better and I’m returning to my usual writing routine.

Even without a family illness, many writers experience this lack of writing activity during the holidays. So how do you jump back into the routine after a break? For me, I’m a list queen. If it isn’t on my to-do list (or I prefer to call it a goal list) is doesn’t get done. I especially loved some advice that I got from Bob Mayer’s advice from his bestselling book, ‘Write it Forward: From Writer to Successful Author’. He advised making two columns; a to-do list and a completed list. I always have tasks to accomplish but when I look and see my completed list I feel much better about my day.

It’s also important to start slow and realistic. I have a lot to catch up on but if I put everything on my goal list I would lose my mind. Prioritize your projects and stick to you plan. Avoid distractions like Twitter and other social media outlets. Social media is vital for a writer but it does you no good if you have no product to market.

Another thing I've focused on when jumping back into my routine is the cleanliness of my workspace. I find that if I have a neat workspace I feel more at ease in my writing time.

It is also important to incorporate items that are of importance and comfort to you within your workspace. This always helps my mood when I hit a snag or are stuck on a project. For example, I have a picture of my daughter and a picture of my dog in frames on my desk. I also write quotes of encouragement on sticky notes and my white erase board.

It only makes sense to incorporate what you love in your workspace. Isn’t that done in our very writing? Think about it. I’m sure that if you read your manuscript objectively you would easily find your passions in your writing.

I love the ocean. Well, look at the background of this block. The scenery gives me peace and comfort. My young adult project takes place at sea. Are you seeing a pattern here?

If we write what we love it only makes sense to incorporate that love into our workspace to inspire and move us.

How have you jump back into a routine? Did you focus on incorporating your passions? How so?

Announcements:

I will be teaching another class of my Writing Moms: How to do it all without losing your mind Write It Forward Workshop this March. It is a month long workshop focused on busy writing moms, something I know a lot about. Click here for more information.

My book, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog’ is out and a percentage of the profits go to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine.

I’m fortunate to be part of the Who Dares Wins Publishing family. Don’t forget to check out these very talented authors blogs:

Bob Mayer

Amy Shojai

Kristen Lamb

Joy E. Held

Colin Falconer

What do you look for in a writing class?

Something I love about being a writer, is I’m always learning. This is true about all fields but after working in several industries, I find that it is very strong in the writing industry. And we make it easy for ourselves.

The writing community is very supportive and quick to help one another. Through networking, associations and lists among the writing community it is easy to learn about the many writing classes out there, including inexpensive and convenient online courses. I’m preparing to teach my first online workshop the Writing Mom: How to do it all without losing your mind. As I finalize my lesson plans I’ve been thinking back over some of my favorite classes that I’ve taken. Why did I love them? What made me take some of them again? What made me recommend them to other writers?

The first online writing class I took was Plot via Motivation by best selling author and renowned instructor Laurie Schnebly Campbell. I since then have taken several of her courses and I plan to retake this same course this year with new plot idea. I loved her teaching style, worksheets and feedback. The interaction within my class was also great and I made friends there as well. One of my fellow students from that first class is now my critique partner today.

I also have taken several online courses from best selling author Bob Mayer. He also offers detailed lectures with fantastic feedback. I’ve been known to ask him questions month after a class and he has responded to me, which shows you how dedicated he is to helping upcoming fiction authors. I’m currently taking one right now that he is teaching on the kernel idea, you know that original idea that inspires you to write the story. He’s discussing some really great stuff.

Kristen Lamb, author of the best selling books, ‘We Are Not Alone: The Writers Guide to Social Media’ and ‘Are You There Blog? It’s Me, Writer’ is offering a two month online course in October and November that will walk writers through building their brands. Now, I’ve never taken one of her courses but I have read both of her books and they are great. This is a MUST take!

Who Dares Wins Publishing offers great writing workshops. Coming up in November, we have author Jennifer Talty discussing the different publishing options, which is a very hot topic right now.

Tell me about some of you favorite writing workshops. What do you like in a writing class? Is it a great lecture? A useful worksheet? A great discussion among the class?

Announcements:

I am giving away a FREE "seat" to my class to someone who leaves a comment AND tweets about my class to their Twitter following. You must 1. Leave a comment below and 2. Include me @NatalieCMarkey in your Tweet so that I will know that you sent the Tweet. I will enter you name in a drawing to win a free entry to the class. GOOD LUCK!

I will be hosting a live webinar on September 26 6:30-8 PDT with Farm Dogs USA titled ‘Caring for Special Needs Dogs.’ My lecture will be based off my book, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog’ along with new research. Click here for more information.

I’m teaching a Write It Forward Workshop titled, ‘Writing Moms: How to do it all without losing your mind’ online in October. Click here for more information and to sign-up.

If you are a writing mom I encourage you to visit the #WriteMom community of Twitter. Share your joys, successes and stress with others writing moms. Learn more here.

Constructing an influential writing space

This weekend during a writing break I tackled the very needed task of cleaning my office. I know some of us (writers) don’t have an actual office but wherever you work, you should take it as seriously as you take your writing.

Before I had a spare bedroom I use to write from our kitchen table. For the record, I DO NOT recommend this! Every time we ate all of my notes had to be moved and things always got out of order. I spent the most of my time trying to make sense of my stuff. You really need to have a space of your own to devote to your craft.

But this space should not be just about writing. While cleaning this week, I noticed and smiled at the picture of on my desk of my daughter playing on the beach of Lake Michigan. I laughed at the picture of snowflakes on my dog, Oscar’s nose on the very picture that was published in my first book. Now yes, the last picture ended up being career related. I have no intentions of writing about my daughter and the fun we had at Lake Michigan but whenever I hit a snag in a scene it makes me smile and takes some of the stress away when I see her trying to figure out how that sand toy works.

I also incorporate quotes around my office to inspire me like, “I’m convinced fear is at the root of most bad writing,” said by Stephen King. New York Times bestselling author Bob Mayer recently mentioned that quote on his Write It Forward Blog and I loved it.

We are so easily influenced by our surrounding so construct an influential and inspirational workspace for your writing. Incorporate craft, humor and family. What do you have around your writing space that keeps you going during a rough day?

Announcements:

I will be hosting a live webinar on September 26 6:30-8 PDT with Farm Dogs USA titled ‘Caring for Special Needs Dogs.’ My lecture will be based off my book, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog’ along with new research. Click here for more information.

I’m teaching a Write It Forward Workshop titled, ‘Writing Moms: How to do it all without losing your mind’ online in October. Click here for more information and to sign-up.

If you are a writing mom I encourage you to visit the #WriteMom community of Twitter. Share your joys, successes and stress with others writing moms. Learn more here.

Using Twitter for networking and education with hastags

First of all, I'm sorry to the late post. If you follow me, then you know that I always post on Wednesdays and Fridays. I was out of town with no Internet access and had scheduled this post to come out on Friday. However, Blogger apparently didn't like me last week so with out further delay....

As a mom, author and CEO of my household, I’m always looking for ways to maximize and safe time. For me, a groundbreaking discover was Twitter. Of all the professions, I believe that writers have managed to really tap into the power of this networking tool. Writing community hastags are plenty and if you can take a few times a days to follow the Tweet Deck streams of these groups, then you can learn a lot while networking in an easy, fun environment. The wealth of knowledge on Twitter is vast so it is a useful place for continued education and industry discussion.

I love to follow #MyWANA, #WeWrite and #ScriptChat. #MyWANA came about from Kristen Lamb’s ‘We Are Not Alone: The Writers Guide to Social Media’ Her groundbreaking social media book has connected writers through Twitter at the frequently visited hashtag, #MyWANA. This is a group for writers that help writers promote. Whether it is to connect with writers or to look for an article to read and retweet, #MyWANA may be the place for you.

#WeWrite is a great place to learn about the writing process and how writers approach their work. #WeWrite was created by authors Anna DeStefano and Jennifer Talty. Sometimes specific topics are discussed and sometimes people just love to throw questions out there.

Recently, I have found #ScriptChat. It all started when I spent the wise price of $10 to take a pre-conference class on screen writing at the RWA National Conference several weeks ago in NYC. I have studied many forms of writing from journalism to creative structure but I’ve never done anything with screen writing. This seemed like a fun challenge and a learning experience. Bill Pace taught the course and was great. After the class, #ScriptChat founders Jeanne V. Bowerman and Kim Garland ran a panel discussion on social media. I loved hearing their approaches to Twitter and Facebook. They spoke about #ScriptChat and since I loved the screen writing class I made a point to attend the next chat session, which occurs every Sunday evening. It was very informative. Most of the time, I’m guilty of lurking with this group but I highly recommend them.

By targeting specific hashtag groups on Twitter, you can easily accomplish some continuing education and valued networking. Twitter can become an addiction. I recommend scheduling times to check Twitter and use it for brief breaks. You are the only one who can discover what works for you.

Announcements:

If you know me, then you probably know that next to dogs my favorite animal is a shark. I love diving with them and studying them, therefore one of my favorite weeks of the year is Shark Week on Discovery Channel. It starts July 31 this year. As a lead up to the festivities, the largest shark tank in the world at the Atlanta, GA Aquarium has set up a live streaming video from inside the tank. They have Whale Sharks in there guys and this is my new addiction. Enjoy it on this Monday.

Thanks for all the well wishes for Oscar, my dog who has been in and out of the hospital. He is going to be fine. It turns out that Oscar is just stressed and may have to go on a tranquilizer. We are not surprised. He feels the need to run everything and puts so much responsibility on himself. He is the best dog and I am feeling so much better knowing that he is fine. You can read my book that he inspired, ‘CARING FOR YOUR SPECIAL NEEDS DOG.’

Re-sparking that writer conference energy

I attended the RWA Writers Conference this year and I know authors that attended the Thriller Writers Conference. Such conferences can be overwhelming and exhausting. Hopefully you read Bob Mayer’s and Jennifer Talty’s ‘The Writer’s Conference Guide.’ The truth is, whatever conference you attended, you are EXHAUSTED! Especially, if you are a mom. I know after being away from my house for a week I was met with so many things to do including planning and running my one-year-old's birthday party.

So, how do you keep the momentum and the spark from the conferences and apply them to your writing life? I recommend that you look over your notes and get back into your writing as quickly as possible. It is so easy to get tired and caught up with real life and feel like you must devote more time to it because you were at a conference for a week.

Remember why you went to that conference. What were your goals? I'm sure you had some. Look at those goals. Did you achieve them? How can you move forward and capitalize on what you learned to achieve your goals?

Maintaining the high from a conference is especially hard for mother’s that have been away from their babies. I know, I am there right now. Be sure to discuss your goals with your family. Get them on board, set a schedule and start working.

These are some suggestions to start with. How are you maintaining your high from a writer’s conference? What advice do you have? Please share below in a comment.

Announcements:

My non-fiction, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog,’ is out. Vets will always be your first resource in pet care, but as owners, we have a lot of power in giving our dog the best possible life. It is currently selling for $2.99 with a percentage going to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine.

Don’t miss out on the whole writer special-- three titles for $8.99, save $4 http://t.co/xy7e0Q9 THIS IS A GREAT DEAL!

I also have a new author website, www.NatalieCMarkey.com

Understanding the writing mommy-mind with guest author Joy E. Held

A few months ago I read 'Writer Wellness' by author Joy E. Held. I agreed with all her advice and was thrilled to see that I was doing it all except for one thing--meditation. So, lately I've been trying to have a more peaceful mind. But it's hard to fit in meditation when I'm working to meet deadlines and I'm caring for my one-year-old daughter.

Enough of my whining, I invite you all to listen to the 'Writer Wellness' expert. Joy E. Held understands the pressure and stress of being a writing mommy because she is one. Take it away Joy with some interesting info on how the mommy-mind and monkey-mind aren't that different.

Meditation takes work. It’s the kind of work that leads to long term benefits. It looks deceivingly simplistic, but all good things are complicated at some point which makes them worth the effort. What is meditation and how can it benefit a busy parent? The simple answer is that a steady meditation practice teaches our minds to focus, and who doesn’t need more mental clarity? I have kids. They are wonderful grown women now who sucked my brains out as children with their energy, activities, desires, and education. I don’t regret a minute of mothering, but I couldn’t have survived it without a basic meditation practice.

“How is meditation difficult?” you ask. “All you do is sit there with your eyes closed. I do that every night once the wine kicks in.” Meditation is not sleeping. Snoring is a sign that our brain is bored and has fallen asleep. This is not meditation. Meditation is CONSCIOUS RELAXATION where thoughts are guided, not controlled or followed, but guided. Huh? We all have this state of thinking that is fondly referred to in meditation circles as “monkey mind.” It’s not that different from “mommy mind” where our minds are racing from responsibility to responsibility. Meditation is taming your monkey mind to keep it from jumping from thought to thought, image to image, and idea to idea. Taming monkey mind is not as easy as cracking a whip or stabbing at the air with a wooden stool (or spoon.) This may cause hungry lions to back down, but it does not scare monkey mind. Monkey mind responds better to kindness and compassion. Monkey mind ceases to chatter and screech and finds a still place to rest if it is fed a steady diet of calmness, reassurance, and love.

What helps tame monkey mind is a mantra which is a simple set of words repeated over and over in the mind to calm your brain, breath, and body. Mantra literally means “mind tool” in the ancient Sanskrit language which is the mother tongue of meditation and yoga. It is always a very simple phrase like “Breath in. Breath out,” that is repeated rhythmically with the movement of the breath and sometimes the body. A mantra is not quite a chant because chanting is a call to order, a statement of purpose, or a dedication. Mantras are always really, really simplistic and tend to feel musical as they are repeated over and over. They aim to produce a hypnotic state of stillness and peace by repeating the chosen phrase over and over until it doesn’t want to be repeated any longer. Yes, I said until the mantra decides it has been said enough. This is one point where the difficulty arises.

It reads like a simple exercise to mentally repeat a phrase until your mind is at rest, but the actual practice is challenging because monkey mind is typically very immature and difficult to appease. With time and practice, just like any normal toddler, monkey mind will learn to quiet down sooner and sooner when it hears the mantra, but it requires practice, practice, practice. One thing toddlers and monkey mind do NOT respond well to is punishment. No spanking, yelling, or time-outs in the corner for monkey mind. It will only mature and become quiet with patience, practice, and love which are exactly the same things we give our children.

So here’s the plan. Sit comfortably with your spine supported and your eyes closed. Yes, you can recline slightly as long as you PROMISE not to fall asleep. Better to sit upright. Begin by allowing monkey mind to chatter away about everything it can possibly think of. When you think the time is right, begin repeating the mantra you have chosen. (See list below.) Anytime monkey mind interrupts your mantra, kindly and gently IGNORE it and return to repeating the mantra. Set a timer so you don’t get frustrated. Start with three minutes once a day and gradually add a minute as you notice the time seems to “fly by.” That’s a signal you’re ready to increase your meditation time.

Simple? Let me know. Be kind to monkey mind and it will be kind to you.

Mantra suggestions:

Breath in…breath out

I breathe in…I breathe out

Peace in…negative out

I…am

Okay, I know we didn’t get into how to fit this into the world of being an all consumed parent. That’s for part two. Be sure to sign up and follow Natalie’s blog so you will get a notice about the next installment.

Be well, write well.

Joy E. Held is a wife, mother, teacher, and author. Her book Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity is available from Who Dares Wins Publishing http://whodareswinspublishing.com

Visit her blog for more details on journaling, fitness, relaxation, nutrition, and creativity.

http://writerwellness.wordpress.com

Announcements:

Thank you Joy for this great post!

To any of my followers on Twitter and Facebook, I'm sorry I've been MIA this week. I'm currently in NYC for the Romance Writers of America National Conference.

I have launched my official writing website. You can visit it at www.NatalieCMarkey.com Thanks to my fabulous brother for doing such a great job. Now I'm sure I'll have some new ideas after this conference :-)

My non-fiction, ‘Caring for Your Special Needs Dog,’ is out. Vets will always be your first resource in pet care, but as owners, we have a lot of power in giving our dog the best possible life. It is currently selling for $2.99 with a percentage going to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine.

If you want a free book, then check out the 400 Hundred Hours to Four Hundred Days that I'm participating with. Find details in the previous post's announcements.

What is a happy ending?

I read a lot of craft books when I decided to turn the ideas in my head into novels and there always was so much emphasis on that first chapter. I agree that the first chapter is very important. It is what sets the tone. It is what potential agents/publishers see. But what about the end? Will we be stoned to death if we don’t write that picture perfect ending, where are hero and heroine ride off into the sunset? What about cliffhangers? Is there a cliffhanger that is too much? Right now I’m thinking about endings a lot since I’m currently polishing the ending of my YA fantasy. And I’m not the only one. Recently I saw my friends at #WeWrite discussing endings as well.

My take on endings? I believe every ending needs to accomplish some arc. For example, when I decided that I wanted to write my YA fantasy series as a trilogy I created an outline for the overall series and then outlines for each book. The series has its overall plot arc, each character has their overall arc as well. Then each book has a purpose or something that it is out to accomplish. Another example, the big question to my heroine in book one is, who is she? At the end of book one readers will know the answer to the question, as will the heroine. So book one accomplishes its goal.

But (of course there is a but here) by answer the BIG question in book one it opens up other questions giving the reader a hook, AKA cliffhanger to keep reading.

A great example of this is Cassandra Clare’s ‘The Infernal Devices’ series. In the first book, ‘Clockwork Angel’ we are introduced to Tess Gray who at one time believed who she was but is thrown into a world where she discovers that she really doesn’t know who she is, or what she is at all. Spoiler, Spoiler, Spoiler. We learn, like Tessa that she is a downworlder. That is a fact, but neither of us, the reader or Tessa know what she is. So one question is answered only to open the door to other questions.

Some people don’t like cliffhangers. I hear readers complain, talking about how much they hate them. But by hating them, you’re proving how effective they are. As The Mortal Instruments Examiner at Examiner.com, I cover news stories related to the popular YA series by Cassandra Clare, ‘The Mortal Instruments’ and ‘The Infernal Devices.’ Clare is one of the best writers at cliffhangers and her latest book, ‘City of Fallen Angels’ really leaves the reader on the edge of their seat. It was my job to report the fan reaction to the book and for every reader that complained about the ending I would ask, “Will you read the next book?” The answer was always the same, “Yes.”

We read for entertainment. As a writer I want my readers to finish a story satisfied that the spent the time reading it. I want them to feel some accomplishment of the character’s journey but still leave them wanting for more. It’s good writing and smart marketing. So do I believe in writing a picture perfect happy ending? In the end—yes. I want the girl to get the guy and for the bad guy to get his comeuppance, but they will have a rocky road getting there.

What do you think about endings? Please share your comment below.

Announcements:

My non-fiction, “Caring for Special Needs Dogs” is out by Who Dares Wins Publishing. A percentage of the profits go to The Texas A&M Foundation to the benefit of the Neurology Section, Department of Small Animal Clinical Sciences, College of Veterinarian Medicine. You can get it for $2.99 on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Help special needs dogs find their happily ever after.